Giving Myself Permission To Add To The Pile

July 17, 2019

Still working through Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic. I’m taking my time and savoring all of her nuggets of wisdom. I’ve actually listened to it before, but while some of the stories are well remembered, the messages feel new. It’s actually really interesting to me that a lot of things in my life are starting to feel that way. Must be a bi-product of getting older.

Yesterday, I had started a drawing that I was very excited about in theory, but once I’d started my confidence about the piece began to waver. I was trying a new approach and when I stopped for the day the drawing was so rough and the worst thing I’ve done for months. Well, that was my thought process at that moment. Maybe it won’t be a masterpiece, but I’m still working on it and the little fairy is coming together. Even still, she isn't exactly unique. I struggle with this desire to create unique and fresh drawings... but always fall back into cliches. I have already attempted to hang up this inner critic that is always pulling me back, trying to convince me that I’m wasting my time with my drawings. I actually manage sometimes. I’m just now realizing that it’s something that will always be there. I’ll always have this inner monologue of self-doubt. Honestly, I don’t think it’s always wrong even. My artwork hasn’t added anything new to the fantasy art genre, but this is where I can calm myself down and just realize that it’s okay. As Gilbert put it, it’s alright to add to the pile. I’ve just got to give myself permission to enjoy what I’m doing and keep creating.

Stephanie Hagen
Fairy Wing Studio