Am I Enough?

I’ve been sketching away toward my Paris sketchbook goal and stumbled across a very pushy fairy. I had finished my portrait sketch for the day, but had a fairly large spot open on the page. I felt compelled to do one more quick sketch. My fingers almost took on a life of their own, and before I knew it I was looking at a face just demanding to be brought to life. So I took her digital. It was a whirlwind drawing that really tapped into my recent struggle with finding my artistic voice. I feel a little lost and pulled in too many directions. I’m plagued by indecision and a feeling of inadequacy. I’m impatient and impulsive with my art, but also feel very nervous about just letting go and allowing my “brush” strokes to take on a life of their own. Feeling the need to control every aspect of my paintings. Not this one though, it’s quite a bit different from my usual style and was such a breath of fresh air.

When I was looking into her eyes in my sketch book, I had this very powerful question sound in my head, “Am I good enough?” As I mentioned, I’ve been wrestling with feeling down on my artistic endeavors lately. I know many people struggle with this, and it’s becoming more and more common for others to come out very publicly and admit to there own perceived shortcomings. A few days ago, a power couple I am following on social media (Team Bradley - Noah Bradley and Rachel Bradley) posted a reference pack for artists. Rachel Bradley is a very talented artist who has admitted to feelings of inadequacy and used a life drawing reference pack to help her accept her body and love it enough to share it with the art community. It’s a wonderful resource and she’s a beautiful model. It came at a perfect time to complete this fairy who herself was wondering if she’s enough; echoing my doubts and those of many others.

She didn’t take long to finish, but I’d argue she’s no less beautiful for it.